...Gunpowder Gelatine, Dynamite with a Laserbeam... |
01 Dec 2005|08:19am |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Destroying Angel - Sneaker Pimps |
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Hanukkah is in ten days; I've got to start getting Max's presents together.
In other news, I'm having some school troubles. It's not very cool. Thanksgiving went well anyway. We ate lots of yummy food and had fun.
I slept at my dad's last night, and was quite miserable. Max called at around one (when he got home) and said something that upset me, so I couldn't go back to sleep for a while after that. I've decided I don't really like the Jo-group. I mean, I like some of them. But they're meanie poo heads.
Anyway, I have to go to school. I'm very unhappy.
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...I Hope You Find Yourself In a Low Place Like Home... |
22 Nov 2005|10:38pm |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Low Place Like Home - Sneaker Pimps |
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I got her birthday presents; hah! I win the birthday game. Oh yeah, uh huh, woo hoo, wee!
I'm home tonight... Max is out. I'll admit that I'd really like to be out with him, or you know, I'd even be happy to be sitting on our couch, sleeping or waiting for him to come home and give pets. Also, I left something at his house that I really wanted but forgot, though I managed to write out his checks for him. Good news is that I finally got a key. *Dances.* It's awesome. I can now lock and unlock the door to the place where I spend most of my time! Oh shit.. I just remembered I forgot to lock the sliding glass door, which will never have to be opened again, now that I have a key.
Oh well. I can't do anything about it from my dad's house. It's okay though. Tomorrow night I get to spend with Max. It's nice. Anyway, I sleep now and wait for Max to call.
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...Dead Disco, Dead Fun, Dead Rock'n'Roll... |
21 Nov 2005|11:12am |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Dead Disco - Metric (In My Head) |
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I have a dilemma.
I haven't bought Nessa's present yet; not because of laziness, but because I have no cash. I think I'm going to ask my dad for some money so I can get it. The problem is her birthday's on Thanksgiving. *Suddenly sounds like a male superhero.* I must hurry!
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...It's Never Very Hard Staying True When I'm Staying True to You... |
15 Nov 2005|11:31am |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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Striptease - Hawksley Workman |
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I forgot how boring and randomly stressful school is. I think life would be nicer if I could invent a shrink machine, a Mini-Max pocket carrier, and a Mini-Max translator with ear piece. You see where I'm going with this? If not... yes, I'm going to shrink my boyfriend, set him up in a miniaturized, comfy house/room/pillow thingy bobber, and then secretly converse with him throughout the day, and feed him Mini-Max pellets that taste like pasta. He'll also have a little diet coke drinker, like hamsters do, only filled with diet coke... and satellite T.V... and a tiny PS2... and I've thought about this for too long.
Anyway, as I sit here in my Technology class, Spencer's next to me playing with the flight simulator, which is mildly amusing, and I have nothing better to do except for watch him. I'm still dreading Mrs. Fores and her crazy blonde-headed shaky dance which she does when angry and Mr. Jauch's unsympathetic teasing of how far behind I am in Geometry.
Also, I have no lunch money. Damn. Today will be a hungry, bored, Max-less day. I'm thinking of dropping out of drama because the play has become a joke. We didn't go to FTC (Florida Theatre Conference) and every rehearsal is just a room full of laughing kids attempting to keep in character. We all just sit around, giggle, and try desperately to be serious. I'm not really sure if they can live without a Jean (my character), but if this goes on they might have to. Besides; practices take too much out of my day (I don't get home till six) for me to want to keep it up anyway.
In other news, my hair is blue, I have a nape piercing, and I think Max fucked up my bellybutton ring. We just got out of Fat Boy, a FLIFF (Fort Lauderdale Film Festival) movie, and he decided to grab me around the midsection and pick me up. In doing so, he managed to make the bottom ball, the part of the barbell that rests inside my bellybutton, flip up and touch a part of my skin that's above where the top ball is. Now it's red, inflamed, and unhappy. Blarg... Well, I have nothing else to rant about, except that I'm excited about moving my compy to Max's. End. ^_^
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...Alright, Okay, I Guess It's Better to Turn This Way... |
14 Nov 2005|05:40pm |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect - The Decemberists |
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Today I didn't go to school.
I've been avoiding writing this paper for speech that's like, six pages about agreeing on UN peacekeeping or something. It's a little jazz number for public forum, but it's quite obvious that it's not getting done. I realize this, so tomorrow I'll be ready to face the music. I think.
Tonight is my first night away from our house in a while. Instead I'm staying with my dad and sister. The new development is that grandpa is coming to move in with us on the first, so I'm packing up my things and getting them out of my room. My sister and I have to share again, which shouldn't be so bad, because I'm not here a lot anyway and we don't have "computer wars" anymore. At least we get the bunk beds back... But Max will never want to sleep over again. -_-' Doesn't matter; I'll use my girl powers to convince him, girl powers being evil coercion tactics and sinister threats. Muahahaha. Ha.
I realized that I started this DJ in 2003; all the entries from that year got moved to my diary-x, which was dumb, so now I'm going to move them, along with all the entries in my diary-x that aren't here, to this journal. It's a tedious task, but I like to have everything in one place, and I feel like moving my entries in the first place was a dumb idea, one which I regret.
As of late, I feel lazy and uninspired. I feel more and more like my mom, and it's scary. I don't update my site anymore, I've lost interest in my play, I can't even finish photoshopping layouts for God's sake. And there's a big project that involves the computer that I want to do for Max, which I'm progressing through, but it's harder than it used to be. Ah well. Nothing more to say, except that I hope to resume the transferring of entries soon.
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...It's Time You Invested in a Bottle of Poison... |
07 Nov 2005|11:18am |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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The Music in My Head |
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By later, I meant later. Anyone hear about Hurricane Wilma attacking Florida? Much fun. Fortunately, nothing bad happened to us (us being Cami, Max and I). No broken windows, no water damage, but we did lose power for a while...
Wait! I almost forgot - something bad did happen. Max wasn't there for the hurricane! Want to know why? Because his parents kidnapped him away to California. They freaked out and shipped him home, so I was without Mishimoo for EIGHT DAYS. I thought I was going to die. But he's back now, and all is well. This is the first day of school in about ten days; it's still as dreadful as ever.
Well, I'm bored now, so I'm going to go surf the net and take advantage of it while I can, before I have to go home and fiddle with the wireless. Have fun.
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... |
02 Nov 2005|08:35pm |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Soul Calibur III's "VS Modes" Music (It's So Repetitive...) |
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Life is boring. Been a long time, huh? Well, I might post later. :/
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...You're Just So Fine to Me... |
14 Jan 2005|06:48am |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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The Servant - Liquefy |
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I love school; you know it, I know it, most people are aware. But I hate it for a specific reason... I'm not going to name names for those of you who aren't aware, but school is always a terrible prospect for me, because I always end up becomming some big dark secret of his that no one's supposed to know about.. Arg, whatever.
Anyway, Brian's birthday was an okay one by his standards. I wish my birthday had been like that... *Blinks.* Yeah, we hung out, went to dinner, he was nice to me... It was good. *Smiles.*
Mr. Laverde encouraged me to talk to my counselor about taking the AP Lit class, which is the AP class that the Seniors take... I think I'd like it... Anyway, not much to say. Too tired and a little upset. Tomorrow is Brian's "party" and I'm not sure if I'm invited... Maybe I should ask?..
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...All I Do I Wanna Do With You... |
11 Jan 2005|06:41am |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
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music |
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Cells - The Servant |
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Wow; winter break was, all an all folks, pretty good if I disregard my parents entirely. I spent a lot of time with Brian which was beautiful, and some time with Nessa and her friend Jessica too, basically just talking or causing trouble. I liked it a lot, but too bad the semester started yesterday, huh? Brian's birthday was yesterday as well, and I got him a hot action figure (McFarlane's Dorothy from his Twisted Land of Oz Monsters Series 2) some Chambourd (mmm..) a cute card, and gave him two vital bits of information which he'd requested previously. Then his parents, two brothers, him and myself went out to dinner and had yummy pasta at Macaroni Grill. Sean (older brother) took us driving, and we talked and used eachother as pillows a lot. *Nods.* It was nice.. *Smiles.*
About my classes! I've got English, Science, P.E., and Technology. It's craziness, but I think I like it a lot. My teachers are all pretty awesome so far, especially Mr. Burgstresser and Mr. Barnhart. They roxxor my soxxors like Mr. Laverde! English seems like it'll turn out to be okay, just because I've heard from some of the seniors that the class kind of sucks, but I've had a knack for making due and I think I can overcome this inevitable suckiness.
About the Holidays. Christmas and New Years turned out alright for the same reason. Well, that and there wasn't any major fighting until later on Christmas day. I wasn't even home for New Years, so yeah, it was like nothing. Anyway, I've got to go finish getting ready and try to get my mom up so she can sign all my fun papers. Have fun!
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...All the Wonder That I Want I Found in Her... |
25 Dec 2004|06:16am |
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music |
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Slow Chemical - Finger Eleven |
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Wow. Christmas Eve (and even Christmas - today) was probably one of the best experiences I've had in a long time. I spent it with my favorite person, and that alone made it great. I can honestly say I was happy last night; giddy, content, hopeful, optimistic, glowing... good.
A small part of me still expects something drastically horrid to occur, but it's only due to instinct. It's my failsafe, mainly set so that in the unlikely event that something does foil Christmas, I won't be so devestatingly disappointed. Anyway, not much to say besides Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Not many new developments. I got nice gifts this year, and the company shared was even better.
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...And At Your Funeral, I Will Sing the Requiem... |
22 Dec 2004|10:35pm |
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music |
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At Your Funeral - Saves the Day |
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This is random Morgan craziness, which will make little sense if you don't know about my life.. *Smiles.* But I'm sure it'll be just as fun that way; it's mildly colorful, and will hopefully inspire some creative thought if you relate the objects, emotions and situations to people.
********************
At the moment I'm gently suffocating between a myriad of fickle emotions and an array of new experiences; I can't tell up from down. Whether or not it's a good thing, I don't know, but as of late I've been detrimentally confused and sadly misinformed. I've been lied to, lead on, encouraged, and then beaten back down into the bloody barracks of solitude and dark self-deprivation. I'm stuck, grappling with two struggling parents and a younger sister on the brink of discovering her own inner madness. I don't have time for me, but I make time for them... I'm hurting more, seemingly without reason or apparent cause - I can't find the source of the pain, which leads me to believe that I'm unconsciously inflicting it upon myself..
Revenge has never been a part of the curriculum… Learn quicker, sweetie; pick up the pace.
Questions; riddle me this, riddle me that. Talking never solves the puzzle. Pieces wet with warm saline no longer fit their slots. I wonder who deemed them fit to be the ones to wreck my dreams. I’ll ask them why they’ve fragmented me so.
…Because they're malicious and intellectually inferior. Their morals are poor, and they have little understanding of friendly behavior. They're self absorbed yet lack the resources or competencies to be self sufficient. If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough, and they in particular sure as hell can't hack it.
That's a poor excuse for being terrified.
Glowing dully, the firefly grins. He flits and flutters, just out of my reach; he could be the light at the end of the tunnel. Too bad he’s intent on trickery, tom foolery and a bit of mistrust. Misnomered hijinks detail the menu, softly induced undoing: the main course. His fire’s got me mystified, entranced by a trailing shimmer of light. I’m captivated, and he’s gained control, a backseat driver on the gnarled highway of sentiment and feeling.
Right before your eyes, it’s turned into a one way street.
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...Another Day and I Could've Gone Mad... |
17 Dec 2004|06:26am |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Could've Gone Mad - Poe |
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Friday:
Algebra final...
GSA Holiday party after school...
Cranky dad and a less-than-amicable sister...
Yeah, my day should be alright, no sarcasm intended. It could be worse, you know?
Anyway, I've just been trying to keep up with school, seeing as the first semester is almost over and such. It makes me a little sad, but that's alright - I'll survive the next set of teachers, though these ones might not take to me as the other ones did. This makes me a little nervous. Plus, I have two male teachers. Don't get me wrong, because I've been favored by teachers of the opposite gender as well, but I've never even met these ones.
Good thing is I'm going to Brian's Saturday to see his mom I guess? She has a girl's club thingy and she needs so many members to make it an official club and blah blah blah. Since I love her to death because she's one of the coolest people ever, I thought I'd help her out and show up. *Shrug.* Well, whatever.. I need to write a letter to Mrs. Shotwell.
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...Please, Oh Baby, Don't Go... |
15 Dec 2004|06:04am |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Hikaru Utada - Hikari |
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I think he's driving me mad..
Yesterday I ended up going to the bar with dad... We talked about a lot of stuff, so I don't think he's putting me up for adoption anymore..
But now, the person I care about most is going through something rough at home. You know, the only thing I want to do is take him away and make him feel better. The sad part is, he'll have someone else make him feel better instead of me; that's the way he is. Sometimes I wonder if he's blind, or if he just ignores my obvious fondness for him. I hate when he shows me some vague and rare form of affection, only to run off and bestow the same act upon another girl, completely deriving it of any uniqueness. I realized that I'm just like the rest of them, save for that one day... It hurts, and it makes me sick.. and if I told him, he'd look at me and either not comprehend, or melt my words into nothing by uttering some random, neutral statement like, "Okay..." or, "Really?" I guess he's afraid of whatever he thinks it might mean... Well, fuck that..
On the opposite hand, maybe I'm just being stupid. But it never fails to get me how all of me belongs to him, but the little part of him that I do possess is slowly slipping from my grasp..
Why are you doing this to yourself?...
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...Penny for Your Thoughts... |
14 Dec 2004|03:39pm |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Noisy classroom |
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Drama, stupid drama.. Dad went on this whole shpeel about putting us in foster homes and separating us because he's an asshole and likes to make (hopefully) empty threats to his two daughters.
There are days when I question the overall sanity and mental stability of both of my parental figures. Mom is continuously borderlining clinically insane, while daddy's getting loopier by the day; he seems to be stressed out by the fabricated responsibilities of having to babysit two children. What he doesn't realize is that the only thing he's doing for us right now is paying the bills and buying the food. Other than that, we're self sufficient. We cook, clean, do laundry, get up and go to school every morning, look after mom, take care of the pets, etcetera. I guess it's a good thing, considering that if anything ever did happen to us, we could take care of ourselves for a while...
Anyway, I guess things have been busy and crazy. Finals week is upon me, the first final being this Friday for Algebra. Then, all of next week is for finals as well, and I get out at 12:15 from this Friday to next Wednesday. After that, winter break! And a long time for me to contemplate what I'm going to do with myself, and how I'm going to cope with my new classes and schedule. I'm pretty used to the way things are now, and I almost forgot that I'm going to have to write my teachers letters before I leave them, like last year. *Sigh.* I don't know... I'm just tired and burnt out from working myself to the bone. I need to go home, eat some pop tarts, and crash on the floor.
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...Fix Me; I'm Broken... |
08 Dec 2004|03:46pm |
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mood |
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Drained |
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music |
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None... |
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Crap, crap and more crap. *Sigh.* It's been a shitty day.. I don't want to explain all the issues I've already endured and have yet to withstand, just trust me when I say it could've been better. I'm looking forward to my weekend though... Hopefully, I'll be able to do something/go somewhere/spend time with someone I want, so yeah..
In other news, Christmas is coming up. I hate Christmas, more than any other Holiday. I know you're thinking, "Aww, look at the cute goth shunning Jesus's birthday!" Wrong. You want to know why the hell I hate Christmas? I hate Christmas because it's always ruined. Ruined or botched; or I get hurt or yelled at or someone gets in trouble, drunk, or arrested. It happens every time. Around Christmas, we never get along, which is why Vanessa and I usually spend it with Grandpa. This year though, our parents, who cause most of our problems and are usually only good for financial support when they're not being asses, decided to take it upon themselves to make it work this year, or whatever. Personally, I don't care. I hate the Holiday because of them, and I wish that I could just go to sleep on the 24th and wake up to the 26th. Things would be easy and less agonizing that way... I need a hug..
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...I Hope He is a Gentleman... |
04 Dec 2004|10:16am |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy |
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Wow... Crazy freaking week.
Monday, regular day; homework, four classes, yaddah yaddah yaddah. Tuesday through Thursday, testing with extra homework and weird comments/concerns from teachers. Friday, regular day; finished all my homework A.S.A.P.
Friday night, Cami came over.. Mom bought me a nice big bottle of Smirnoff Triple Black - not exactly vodka, but she knew I wanted something that tasted good. And she didn't drink at all, which was pretty cool... The munchkins (Cami + Nessa) got a little loopy from Bacardi Raz, which was kind of funny. I just went to sleep; I was feeling pretty lonely.
Today, so far, has been short but busy. I did a lot of running around this morning, and Grandpa gave me a feather matress for my bed.. I <3 him. Dad's working, which is kind of good. I'm just bored, and I think I'm going to go do laundry.
P.S. Matt's a pimp. See you at the pawn shop.
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...Don't They Treat You Like They Should?... |
01 Dec 2004|06:30am |
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mood |
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Empty |
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music |
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If You Don't, Don't - Jimmy Eat World |
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I don't know.. The last day or so has been really weird. Have you ever just wished that someone would tell you exactly how they feel about you? I mean, they don't need to break it down; they just need to let you know, because it's driving you crazy and making you confused. It makes me feel kind of bad. I know I'm easily jealous, but I'm not usually prone to misinterpretation. So when someone is sending me negative signals - purposefully or otherwise - it's agitating, hurtful, and hard to ignore. I know, I know, it’s probably nothing, but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to hear exactly what’s not being told.
I’m actually moderately mad at myself for letting this escalate to a further point than “like.” Before you start, let me just say that this kind of thing always seems to happen… I don’t regret anything at all, because he makes me so happy; just by being around, or saying something funny, or hugging me. I get a warm, fuzzy, loved feeling all over, and every time I see him, my chest gives a little flutter - a stir of butterflies. Honestly though, I’ve never been more uncertain or insecure around another person. I actually care about what he thinks.
It feels like a huge step backward from independence. Part of me doesn’t want to have to need him, or miss him when he’s not around, or crave his hugs and kisses. All the while, the other, larger portion of me would rather fawn over him and follow him around like a hapless lap dog - gladly, I might add. I just want to be able to give him all the affection he deserves, but sometimes he’s outwardly apathetic. I mean, it’s fine when we’re alone in his house; there he soaks it up. But put him out in public in front of his friends, and it’s much harder for him to show any sort of favor towards me.
…Okay, this is stupid, I’m stupid… I’m just worried, you know, that I feel a lot more strongly about him than he feels about me.. It’s not as farfetched as you think… So now I’m left feeling kind of hollow.
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...I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl... |
30 Nov 2004|06:26am |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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Criminal - Fiona Apple |
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Name: Morgan
Piercings: Two holes in each ear lobe, an industrial in the left ear, bellybutton, lip (center)
Tattoos: 0
Height: 5'8"
Shoe size: 9 in women, 8 in men
Hair color: Dirty blonde.. *Gags.*
Length: Jawline, shorter in the back
Siblings: 2 sisters (one blood, one adopted by choice)
LAST:
Movie you rented?: Hell, I can't remember..
Movie you bought?: Ditto.
Song you listened to?: Hang 'Em High - My Chemical Romance
Song that was stuck in your head?: The Wheels on the Bus (you know, that song from kindergarten?..)
CD you bought?: Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy - M.S.I. (This was forever ago, but that's okay.)
CD you listened to?: Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
Person you've called?: Cami
Person that's called you?: No one..
Tv show you've watched?: Uhm... Something on the History channel..
Person you were thinking of?: Brian
You have a bf or gf?: No.. *Sigh.*
You have a crush on someone?: God, yes, though I'm not sure it can still be considered a crush..
You wish you could live somewhere else?: Yes, and no.
You think about suicide?: No, not since I was eleven.
You believe in online dating?: Nope, but if thats what you're into, whatever.
Others find you attractive?: Not really..
You want more piercings?: *Smiles.* I think I'm getting my tongue done for Christmas. Other than that, who knows?
You drink?: Yeah.
You do drugs?: Hah, no.
You smoke?: Nuh uh.
You like cleaning?: If it's my room, yes.
You like roller coasters?: Yep.
You write in cursive or print?: Cursive
You carry a donor card?: Um, no.
FOR OR AGAINST:
Long distance relationships?: Non partisan.
Killing people?: Weeeellll...
Teenage smoking?: Against.
Premarital sex?: For.. FOR!! FORRRR!
Driving drunk?: Against.
Soap operas?: ...How dare you. KILL THEM ALL.
FAVORITE:
Food?: Sushi - hah, it's raw!
Song?: Stellar - Incubus
Thing to do?: *Thinks about this one for a moment.* I think it would be safe if I just skipped this one? For now though, singing is a good answer.
Thing to talk about?: Anything interesting.
Sports?: Football, NASCAR, basketball on occasion.
Drinks?: Shirley temples and screwdrivers.
Clothes?: Black.
Movies?: The Nightmare Before Christmas (since I was four-ish.)
Band/singer?: Brandon Boyd
Holiday?: Halloween
New nerdy saying?: I don't know?
HAVE YOU:
Ever cried over a girl/guy?: Unfortunately, yes..
Ever lied to someone?: Yeah.
Ever been in a fist fight?: Almost.
Ever been arrested?: Nuh uh.
NUMBER:
Of times I have been in love?: Once.
Of times I have had my heart broken?: Twice.
Of hearts I have broken?: *Shakes head.* None.
Of girls/guys I've slept with?: Two.
Of drugs taken illegally?: Zero.
Of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: 1 (you know who you are..)
Of people I consider my enemies?: I always figure I'll find one some day; never happens..
Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Never, I don't think.
Of scars on my body?: Probably about 5 major, and 10 minor. I don't feel like looking at them, or counting.
Of things in my past that I regret?: Pick something else to ask me.
FAVORITE:
Disney movie?: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Scent?: Vanilla or cherry - or both.
Word?: Spooge
Guy name?: Tobias
Girl name?: Morgan
Eye color?: Brown.. *Smiles.*
Flower?: ..I'm not big on flowers. But I love orchids. Still, I hate flowers.
Actor?: Pfft, I dunno.. My friend Arjoon?
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE:
Pretty?: Not really.
Funny?: People mostly laugh at me, not with me. I tend to spew random, unintelligent phrases.
Hot?: You mean the opposite of "cold?"
Friendly?: Yep.
Amusing?: Maybe.
Loveable?: I don't know about that one..
Pessimistic?: Never.
Optimistic?: Of course.
Caring?: Too.
Sweet?: I've been described as that before - ruefully, mind you, but yes.
Dorky?: Undoubtedly; sickeningly so.
RANDOM:
Spell your first name backwards?: Nagrom
Where do you live?: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
4 words that sum you up?: Crazy, insecure, wishful, alone.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
Wallet?: Empty.
Hairbrush?: Black.
Toothbrush?: Blue?
Jewelry worn daily?: A bracelet that says "cynic" and a necklace with a lock, saftey pin, key and a bunch of other junk..
Pillow cover?: I don't have one.
Blanket?: Leopard print!
Coffee Cup?: Bunnies.
Sunglasses?: I don't own sunglasses... but I had my regular ones tinted purple?
Underwear favs?: Um, this answer doesn't belong here. Only one person gets to see my underwear anyway.
Shoes?: Black.
Handbag?: Jack Skellington's head.
Favorite shirt?: The one that says, "Anyone who thinks horror movies promote violence should be beaten with their own severed limbs..."
CD in stereo right now?: Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
What you are wearing now?: Black and purple pants, weird shirt with a rhine stone "1" on it, tattered short sleeves and an assortment of saftey pins
Hair?: Down, straight.
Make-up?: Eyeliner.
WHO or WHAT:
In my mouth?: *Giggles.*
In my head?: *Sigh..* Don't make me think.
Wishing?: That I could be somewhere else with someone in particular, and that I could stop being such a girl about it.
After this?: School.
Talking to?: No one.
Eating?: Nothing.
Fetishes?: I like peoples mouths...
If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason?: ...
Person you wish you could see right now?: At this very moment, Brian.
Is next to you?: No one..
Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month?: Christmas. I have... ideas.
Something that you are deathly afraid of?: Rejection, hurt, embarrassment.. a lot of things.
Do you like candles?: No.
Do you like hot wax?: No, but massage oil is good...
Do you like incense?: Depends.
Do you like the taste of blood?: I hate almost anything salty.
Do you believe in love?: Sadly, I do...
Do you believe in soul mates?: Perhaps. Not for myself, of course.. I don't even think I belong here.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, but I believe in attraction.
Do you believe in forgiveness?: More so than most people.
Do you believe in God?: I don't think so.
Who is your worst enemy?: Damnit, I swear - I'll find one, one day!
If you could have any animal for a pet?: A snake (again.)
What is the latest you've ever stayed up?: Seven A.M.
Ever been to Belgium?: ...What?
Can you eat with chopsticks?: Gracefully, I might add.
What's your least favorite coin?: Pennies; their color sickens me.
What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?: Bend, downtown Ft. Lauderdale, Seattle, Ft. Washington, Saginaw. Really though, I guess I like it here.
What are some of your favorite pig out foods?: Chocolate, cheesecake, key lime pie.. These foods make me happy.
What's something you wish you could understand better?: Brian.
Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?: Cami.
Something you want to make happen for tomorrow?: ..Don't get me started. I just need hugs and kisses...
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...All Signs Around Say Move Ahead... |
29 Nov 2004|05:58am |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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A Certain Shade of Green - Incubus |
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That was probably the best weekend ever, EVER. *Hums and giggles.*
Well, Thanksgiving was less than pretty. Friday was okay; went to the mall with Nessa and Jessica, got some posters for the paintings and punch marks (courtesy of mommy dearest) on the walls and door of my room, so yay. Saturday I went and saw Brian. I stayed for a long time and had crazy good fun. *Smiles.* And Sunday, I did nothing aside from writing an essay. I mean, disregarding the fact that I was a little bored, a lot tired, and kind of restless, I was extremely happy for the majority of my Sunday. This might've frightened Dad a little, as I was bouncy and giggly and cooperative. I don't care though... it was nice..
And... CAMI CAME HOME! We patched things up nicely, though I'm still feeling a little apprehensive about her. It's not because of her as a person I guess, it's more due to the issue that I disagree with some of her decisions; at times, her choices aren't the greatest, and it's so hard to make her see that. Of course, I try to "enlighten" her anyway, even if she gets pissed off at me.. But that's part of being a best friend.
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...My Biggest Fear Will Be the Rescue of Me... |
26 Nov 2004|06:28am |
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mood |
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Alone |
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music |
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Echo - Incubus |
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| Global Personality Test Results | Stability (34%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness (81%) high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion (34%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
| Take Free Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
| Trait Snapshot | depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist, not self revealing, does not make friends easily, suspicious, irritable, hates large parties, follows the rules, worrying, does not like to stand out, fragile, phobic, submissive, dislikes leadership, cautious, takes precautions, focuses on hidden motives, good at saving money, solitary, familiar with the dark side of life, hard working, emotionally sensitive, prudent, altruistic, heart over mind, unadventurous
| Take Free Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
That's kind of crazy.. At least the test was amusing? I'm thinking about deleting this journal since no one reads it and all I do is a) bitch or b) talk about happy things. I guess there's an inbetween somewhere, but sometimes I have a rough time finding it..
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